Thursday, part one...

Hmmmm, it seems a lot happened yesterday.

Right now I am sitting in my favorite spot by the fire, my feet are in a warm salt foot bath (Michael's recommendation) and a lavender candle (from Susan) exudes its soft scent next to me.

So, Michael Shaffer is back and practicing by appointment out of the Philmont office on select days of the week. Different than in the past, he doesn't work with several people at the same time but is totally present with you alone. That in and of itself was a treat: one full hour of undivided attention!

(Michel Shaffer is a chiropractor by profession, but really a healer beyond that professional identity, he was away in India for a couple of years and has only recently returned)

Some new aspects came up, some old ones were confirmed. A lot of silent work on the neck, feet and along the spine, and some interesting lessons of observation, how the belly responds to a person entering the space I am in, impulses of protection that are triggered, how I make a hand on my body either part of myself or separate from myself, how I look at the world through my third eye with my solarplexus covered, and how I see it with that place exposed... Subtle and unexpected, interesting directions of seeing myself. Not sure I have extracted an overall conclusion from it, more something that stirs softly within.

Then the people aspects of these lumps in my body, who is related to it and how? The girls came up and Jimmy as well. Anina above all appeared and was present, a memory I had seen in a journey back in December resurfaced and some probing into what my agreement - or contract with her has been. Somehow I had believed I was here to protect her. This has been carried on from the very beginning on her life when Sophia, clearly thrown of balance by the arrival of a baby sister, displayed some intense behavior, a drive to take charge of her baby sister with a certain amount of roughness, or aggression culminating in a period of biting her so hard we could see the teethmarks on her skin... I had not be aware how deeply the feeling of failure was imbedded into my relationship with her.

Yesterday my sense of that contract was corrected into: I am here to help her find her own strength. Ahhh, quite a relief. She appeared and laid her hands on my belly one over each cyst and said: "Mom, it's all right", so softly and lovingly it made me cry.


Now my water has gone cold, so I will write about the second part of yesterday later...


Love
Tomma