Two Weeks and counting...

Today the surgery is already two weeks in the past. Wow.

I can feel that now. More strength, definitely.
Today I didn't need to take a nap for the first time since I have come home. I'll still go to bed early though, I am sure.
I was up and sorting through papers and bills and receipts and bookkeeping stuff the entire morning, made calls to my health insurance and cleared up coverage questions... I just feel so amazingly productive! I made it through piles of papers today hadn't been able to touch in months and months. Yesterday I had already opened all my mail and that was a stack at least 10 inches high! Interesting, right? All of a sudden it was easy. It is not unpleasant, I am not rushing through this. I do it very slowly, methodically and without any inner pressure whatsoever.

It feels a bit as if all the guilt of having accumulated these piles to begin with, has just quietly melted away. I am thinking it may have been that very guilt, more than anything else, that used to make it so hard to touch these piles. It used to be something I SHOULD have done days ago, a week ago, months ago. Every single envelope used to shout at me: you are unorganized, a slob, a mess, a failure!... my whole desk used to make me sick. Now that I think about it, it seems ever quite so stupid, but I really behaved as if by ignoring those piles of mail and paper I could somehow erase the fact that I had lacked in disciplined action, diligence, and organizational skill again and again and again... and thus by ignoring them I perpetuated their very presence, and heard those loud voices of judgment wherever I looked every moment I sat at my desk. Poooohhh! What a set up!

Well, those days will soon be over.

Now, I'll actually stop and go to the kitchen to start warming up some of the deliciousnesses that still wait in my fridge from this weeks Goddesss-supplies.
Thank you my fridge-fairies Carol, and Melissa and Karen and Sarah, oh you don't know how grateful we have been for you all!!!

Much love!!!
Tomma