The Known and the Unknown

(Written on the airplane - Wednesday 5/6/09)


Another car experience, this time on my way to pick up Jimmy at the airport. Last Sunday.

Out of Nassau I turned on the radio. The program was "selected shorts", some oratorally talented person reading someone else's verbally talented writing that had culminated in a short story in front of an audience somewhere in New York City. They broadcast this every Sunday.

I only heard the the first couple of sentences the reader began the story with.

As I was listening I noticed I didn't really want to hear more. I wondered why. I had enjoyed this program in the past, not often, but often enough. Was it his voice? Too agitated? No. Not really. Hmm... I guessed I was simply not in the mood for this today. Now, wait a minute, what did this really mean? Not in the mood for what? Because truly, I didn't even know what the story would be about. Not a clue, right? Not in the mood... for what then? ... Ahh! To be taken somewhere without knowing where the ride would go. Yes! That was it. I wasn't in the mood for the unknown, not in the mood to surrender in some way.

All right, fair enough. And I switched the channel.

I typically only use two radio channels in my car: WAMC or WMHT. The latter one is the local classical music station, and it was in the middle of broadcasting a piano piece. A few chords, and within seconds I knew, that I knew this piece. A sonata. Mozart. I knew the cords that would follow, the melody, the tempo, indeed the whole thing. I owned the recording of course. It wasn't the first time I recognized a music piece on the radio, it happens all the time, but that morning I was startled by how fast my brain had processed the data. Three chords or so and my brain had located the entire memory file. How few combination of notes and sounds had it been that had entered my ears? And after those first seconds, there was no surprise left where this piece was going. How many times might I have heard it in the past? How many repetitions had it been that created this imprint, this knowing of every single note in this piece? I had no idea. Not THAT many though.

Wow! What an amazing capability really. To recognize something familiar that instantly. Hearing this music now I felt the difference between knowing something and how safe it makes us feel, and not knowing what to expect. I could feel it in my bones. It didn't matter that it was Mozart, that the mood was untroubled and sunny. It could have been Beethoven or Mahler. It could have been dramatic or dark. It would still feel safe. Peaceful in the gut. Recognition. Knowing what comes next. Must have served us during the eons of evolving into the species we are today. Staying on track, knowing your tribe, your home, your kin, your friends and your enemies. No wonder it feels safe, it must have been what helped us survive then.

Maybe that's why it is so hard to leave habits behind, even when they are unhealthy ones, even when they cause us some suffering. Rather keep what's familiar than surrender to something we don't know... even when this something is just a little short story.